First thing is about bisexuality, a short article:
As you know, if you've read my work before, I've written about bisexuals (heck, I am one). Been there, done that, right?
To recap, a bisexual is NOT someone that needs to be with a man and a woman AT THE SAME TIME. Some do, some don't. We do not all crave a menage a trois. Some of us are capable of monogamy, some aren't--just like heterosexuals and homosexuals.
So what is a bisexual? Just someone who’s capable of having a fulfilling emotional/physical relationship with a man or a woman. Nothing more—or less—than that.
But how can people be attracted to both genders? That’s one of the most common questions I get. How is that different from saying, “How can you be attracted to the same/opposite sex?” Because you just are. I never stopped to think about it. My crushes were always on the arty, moody, sarcastic types—whether they were male or female. It’s just the type of person I’m attracted to. I have friends that are attracted to men. Other friends are attracted to women. Those are just one of the prerequisites for their attraction. I just happen to lack that. I like guys with long hair. I have friends that like guys with short hair. Tomato, tomahto.
I must admit I'm disappointed in the bisexual links on the internet. There are several, but not as many as I'd like to see. A lot of bi-specific forums and mailing lists are overrun with ads from heterosexual men looking for sexual relationships with one (or more) bisexual women, or spam. I say don’t complain unless you try to do something about it, so I've created a few mailing lists and webpages, but overall, when you type in "bisexual" into a search engine, you have to wade through hundreds of pages of pornography.
Here's the best of the best for bisexuals:
Bi Femme Haven
Yahoo Email List for Lesbian and Bi butches and femmes
Bisexual.Org: Bringing Bisexuals Together
Bisexual Resource Center
Anything That Moves
Bi All Means
Bi The Way
Coming Out: Realizing Bisexuality in a Straight World
On Bisexuality and Feminism
Kinky Bisexuals: Ultimate Switches or Outcasts?
Color Bi Number
A few key political issues for bi people compared and contrasted to those of lesbian & gay people
Bi-101: some basics about bisexuality
Being bisexual is no better or worse than being monosexual. We just have more potential partners to choose from.
Another interesting article by the same person on coming out-neccessity or choice?:
Happy Thanksgiving. I'm not a big fan of turkey myself (I really love ham), but it's a nice, well meaning holiday. At least it probably is at your house.
A few years ago, one of my friends chose to come out on Thanksgiving. She said a lot of people do that because it's the season of being thankful, and forgiveness. (There's a season of forgiveness?) Anyway, it led to a big blowup of "How could you do this in front of Grandma?" and kinda spoiled the mood. Yet another friend came out on Thanksgiving, and because everyone was in such a good holiday mood, they were less upset than they might have been. So, depending on your family, today might or might not be a good day to announce your sexual preference.
It's funny that I can't actually remember "coming out". I mean, my parents are all over the internet. And I'm out all over the internet. They know my yahoo ID, and have seen my profile, which lists Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual as an interest. I think my mom met my ex girlfriend, who I introduced as my girlfriend. It's possible that they choose to ignore it. Since I'm with a guy right now, maybe all the "gay" is gone.
I guess that's a better reaction than screaming, pleading, and forcing me to see a doctor for a possible "cure" (yes, there are still doctors out there claiming they can "cure" homosexuality), but I've never decided if I should push the issue or not. I mean, if I force this to become a part of our lives, then it's something we have to sit and talk about. I've been pretty happy with my parents leading their lives, and me leading mine. I go and visit them every now and then, we talk about neutral things like my education, politics, and books, and then I go home. Our family can't handle serious issues, we're the poster family for dysfunction. Every time we haul out something serious, one of us ends up in court against the other. Next thing you know, my mother will be accusing my father of molesting me to make me gay. Or maybe my dad will accuse my mom, I don't know. They're both of the belief that someone has to "make" you gay, it couldn't happen on my own. I've learned over the years that each generation has its beliefs and ideals that they carry with them, and it's next-to-impossible to change their minds.
So am I doing myself and the GLBT world a disservice by not calling Mom and Dad and saying, "Hey, I'm bisexual, you're going to have to deal with this, open your eyes and accept this!" Honestly, if I had a family where issues could be brought out like this, I would. But I know what they would do. My mother would insist that something "happened" to make me this way, and next thing you know, all the blame's at my father's feet, and my father would insist that it wasn't true, and ignore it. THIS is something I'd really rather not go to court about. I mean, do you plead guilty or not guilty? I am bisexual, so am I guilty? Or is it that I'm bisexual, so I'm not guilty?
Let's just eat. Happy Holidays, to all those who are out or coming out soon.
And lastly, an little excerpt--mostly on sexuality in general and grey areas of it-- from a green day interview I stumbled across. The words of billie joe armstrong. I really like this one, as it is pretty much exactly whats been going through my head lately:
"YOU PEOPLE ARE FUCKING PATHETIC," Green Day singer-guitarist Billie Joe Armstrong once told a homophobic audience, and now he's sharpening his tongue on the presidential campaign.
A spoof campaign ad, currently streaming on Reprise Records' Web site, features Armstrong as a blow-dryed candidate and skewers first ladies (Green Day drummer Tre Cool offers a fetching drag turn as Armstrong's wife) and "youthful indiscretions" (the camera catches Armstrong toking a joint).
Armstrong himself has nothing to hide--he told The Advocate in 1995-
"I think I've always been bisexual"
When asked whether it is something he's ever actually acted on, the recently married (and about to become a father) Armstrong smiles. "I think mostly it's been kept in my head," he says. "I've never really had a relationship with another man. But it is something that comes up as a struggle in me. It especially came up when I was about 16 or 17. In high school people think you have to be so macho...People get attacked just because someone insinuates something about their sexuality. I think that's gruesome."
-----The song 'Coming Clean' is about having the courage of your own convictions, no matter how hard it might be. Billie Joe candidly explains his inspiration for the song: "Kids will always stop to think about the facts of the possibilities of not knowing what their sexuality is all about: 'Am I homosexual? Am I bisexual? Am I heterosexual? Am I no sexual? Or am I just plain sexual?' People don't know what the fuck they are. I still struggle with that, too--it's part of adolescence and growing up."